I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
