Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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