I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
birth control should be required to get into college
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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