Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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