she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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