I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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