C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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