Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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