She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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