Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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