are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
