still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
