ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
