If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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