For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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