Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
