All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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