he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
