What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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