talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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