you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
