You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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