so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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