Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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