Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
