I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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