my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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