franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
