I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
