Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
