I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
