I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
