Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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