Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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