I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You ruined the universe
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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