I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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