"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you would pick up someone in the library
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think I sprained my soul last night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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