Where is the hickey?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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