Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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