i always forget guys have bellybuttons
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
