She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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