They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
