the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
