Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
