And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
