You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize