I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
