...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
