if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
