We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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