ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
