Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
